Yes, our miserable world is overrun with meaningless awards and empty accolades.
It used to be you could get either a Pulitzer or a Purple Heart and that was about the full extent of it, but now if you are an ambitious person with a global “brand,” you have to leave enough space on your shelf to separate your Emmys from your Grammys from all your Nobel Prizes.
And with each of these prizes, there is a requisite amount of gratitude one is expected to express publicly.
That has proven to be a boon for the Acceptance Speech Writers of America (ASWOA), whose members specialize in crafting all manner of short, humble statements that are designed to publicly recognize the inescapable fact that no one does anything of consequence without help.
I’m a member of ASWOA, and I admit I’ve never scored a large-scale acceptance speech, even though I’ve studied…
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